A couple of weeks ago Darrin & I were among the advisor team who accompanied our youth group to Tower Beach for the day.  It was a beautiful, sunny day!

I have always loved jumping waves, but I am not overly comfortable in the water.  My parents tell me even as a little girl I cried every time they took me in water where I couldn’t see my feet.  giggle.   Apparently that irrational fear has carried over into my adult years.

Jumping waves is fun, but the problem for me is getting past the break point out to where I can just jump a bit and float over each wave.  It completely freaks me out having to dive through a wave, and so it is a bit tricky & involves some careful timing for me to successfully maneuver past all that.

I’ve learned having a 6’5” husband is a definite advantage.  He usually, graciously, walks with me through the waves-are-tossing-tide-is-pulling-me spots to where I can successfully crest each wave before it breaks.

So, I really have no idea what was running through my mind @ 1 pm that day.

I forgot to wear my contacts so I had my glasses on.  I DID take them off, but as I neared the edge of the waves I realized I really couldn’t see very well.  I caught a glimpse of Darrin out in the ocean, and just headed straight for him.  It never even really registered in my brain that he was waving his hands & shouting, “no!”.  I don’t believe I had time for thoughts to form or for the synapses in my brain to start connecting and issue a warning.

Whoosh

Truly, there is no word for that sound & that feeling.

I’m not sure if I was up or down or facing out or in.  I went tumbling every which way.  I think half of me went one way & half of me went another.  I’m really not sure.  I remember thinking, “I’m never going to breathe again!”, when suddenly, I caught some air.  I felt relieved for half a second, and then…I was engulfed again.  I couldn’t stand.  My mouth was full of sand & stones.  Waves were shoving me in.  The current was yanking me out.  Nothing seemed to move of my own accord – I felt like one big grain of sand at the whim of the ocean.  And then the third one hit.  I never saw them coming.  I sensed that Darrin had reached me, and that he was trying to help me.  He kept yelling for me to “GET UP!”.  If my mouth had not been full of water & sand I might have yelled something not-so-nice back at him.  It wasn’t like I was cheerfully hanging out in this predicament.  I felt completely panicked!

Finally…

Some air.

Truly people, this was not a life & death situation.  I’m really only in about 2 feet of water at this point & just feet away from other beach-goers happily reading on the sand.

The waves slowed down a bit, and Darrin ‘bout carried/dragged me out of the breaking zone to a little bit higher ground.  In the first frenzied moments of trying to gulp air I was thankful Darrin was attempting to shield me from at least the closest onlookers.  My swimsuit was nowhere where it was supposed to be, I was trying to spit out sand & stones, my hands were attempting to readjust & rearrange what was supposed to be modest beach attire, and also pull the hair out of my blinking eyes; all the while trying to catch my breath.  A dear lady came running, and yelling, “are you ok, miss?  Are you ok?!”  Darrin was trying to reassure her, but I’m not sure she completely trusted his opinion til I shook my head & smiled a bit.

It took 10 minutes under the shower (thankful for that commodity) at Tower Beach til I had enough sand & stones removed that I could comfortably sit in my swimsuit for the rest of the day.

I did not attempt to enter the ocean again that day; I thoroughly enjoyed watching the youth jump waves & splash & swim.  It made me smile seeing them enjoy themselves.

A few weeks later I found myself standing on the shoreline in North Carolina.

The waves were tickling my feet as the tide started to rise.  My feet would sink deeper and deeper as the tide washed the sand out from under me; sometimes knocking me completely off balance.  After a bit of time, I started to grow a bit weary of the constant repositioning, and so I found a rock & stood there, in the water, and watched the ocean rise and fall.

Some waves would break further out, and just gently nudge against me as they faded away.  Some would surge in fast, and splash against my knees.  Occasionally, on the heels of another wave, one would come in sideways & catch me off guard.  Some rippled.  Some surged.  Some broke right at me, and almost engulfed me.  They were small, they were big, they were weak, they were powerful.  Each moment carried a different landscape; a constant, moving, push and pull, ebb and flow.

I never felt afraid.

I was standing on a rock.

I started humming the song, “so let go, my soul, and trust in Him, the waves and wind still know His name.  It is well, it is well with my soul.”  I quit humming, and started singing.  There weren’t many people on the beach, and I figured those who saw me or happened to hear me above the ocean noise might just need to hear the words, too.  (Either that, or they’d have a ‘crazy-lady’ story to tell their families later.  giggle.)

It was one of those exhilarating, powerful moments when you feel, and are overcome by God’s presence.

I breathed deep.  Very, very deep.

Life pushes & pulls and ebbs & flows, too.  Responsibilities & obligations can become a wave.  We want to please or would prefer not to disappoint & so we take on things God didn’t ask of us, and it becomes a wave.   We look too far ahead, because we want to be prepared & we are taken off-balance by a smaller splash from the side.  Satan is subtle, and cunning – he sends wave after wave after wave.  Sometimes I’ve been in the water looking out at the beach when one engulfs me from behind.

I have a Savior who is way more powerful & protective than my husband.  Isn’t that just an amazing thought?!

Christ offers Himself as my Rock.

When I stand firm in Him, everything else is just waves.

They might hit me out of nowhere or they might trickle subtly across my feet, but they are just waves.  They might splash drops of water against my skin or they might engulf me, but they are just waves.

I might see them coming, and brace myself or I might go tumbling for a bit, but they are just waves.

Some might spritz me higher than I prepared myself for, but they are just waves.

Some might be more turbulent or more deafening; others rippling in softly from the side, but they are just waves.

My Father sees them all.  Not a single one surprises Him.

He has already done the bracing for me, He has already rescued me, He has already carried me.

He knows when to protect me, and when to call me out & give me the grace to plow through one or rise over one.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”  Isaiah 43:2

No matter the season of my life, no matter the decisions I am facing or the uncertainty of where He will lead me next I need to stand only in Him, and for Him.  My courage comes from Him.

In this whole sea of life, He has already prepared my way for me.  I will follow Him.