Baseball hat, t-shirt, baggy shorts that used to be my favorite sweats, puddle boots, puffy brown vest.

Yep, that was my attire today as I dashed out of the house to pick up Chase from school.  The thought, “please don’t let me get in an accident” crossed my mind, but was quickly replaced with, “pssshh..if I’d get in an accident, they’d take one look at me, and probably hand me money”.  giggle.

OK – much to the chagrin of my husband, the habit of wearing a t-shirt, shorts & running around the house in bare feet in the middle of winter became a habit in my childhood (warm, cozy, fire, log cabin atmosphere), and I never reprogrammed.  Since the temperature is 60 degrees in our living room, I do manage to throw on sweatpants during the evening hours if we’re going to be relaxing at home.   Anyways, I realized a little too late that I needed to leave immediately to pick Chase up from school today, and so the closest items of clothing between myself and the door were puddle boots & my go-to brown vest.

Off I dashed.  Many times the 8.5 minute drive to the high school in the middle of the day is one of my talk-to-Jesus moments.  Well, I was almost at the high school, and realized I had never even turned the van heater on.  The thermometer in the van read 21 degrees, and I didn’t even have goose bumps.  Now, before you’re all impressed that I am totally unfazed by the weather when I pray, let me explain that my personal temperature gauge does not register in the ‘normal’ range.  I am heading off to the beach in a few weeks with some dear friends, and the joke has been that I will be sitting on the beach in the 50 degree weather in my bikini.  Oh horrors!  Just to set the record straight – the ONLY time I have ever worn a bikini was on our honeymoon almost 19 years ago, and even then just for my husband.   I would totally feel conspicuous if there was a collective gasp of horror on the beach when I arrived.  (Well, that made me giggle out loud.)  I also believe in modesty so I’ll be presentable, but the reality is that 50’s on the beach doesn’t sound horrid to me.   I doubt I’ll be a bundle of sweatshirts and wrapped-up towels like a few others will be.  😉

So I’m driving along this morning in my questionable attire, and I’m pouring my heart out to Him – (I love that He didn’t care I was barefoot in my puddle boots).  🙂  I was also thinking of how I’d told my husband the night before that I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin.  I’ve been so irritable this past month I could just smack someone.  I really have no clue why.  No one or one thing has really been an overwhelming issue.  Perhaps it’s hormones, but it doesn’t change the fact I am almost hysterical inside, and that it’s slowly oozing out of me onto others.  For example, I was excited to meet a group of high school friends the other evening for a night out, but found myself feeling a bit miserable when I was there.  The food & fellowship was great – I was just really grumpy inside.  I saw this quote from Anne of Green Gables the other day, and it resonated with me, “I am well in body, although considerable rumpled up in spirit, thank you ma’am.”  Seriously, one of my sons asked me a question yesterday afternoon, and I exasperatedly exclaimed, “oh my word.  I answered that 6 times already today.  Doesn’t ANYONE listen to me?!!!?”  And then I walked directly to my bedroom, and unceremoniously closed the door.  I haven’t felt this rumpled up in years!

Bless my husband’s heart – he walked in after me, and just hugged me.  I love him!  I shared how buggy I’ve been feeling, and he just raised an eyebrow at me, and then he prayed over me.

So, now I’m zipping along to the high school, and I’m thinking about the temperature and wind outside, and it just all clicks a bit with the inside of me.  Maybe my problem at the moment is my spiritual temperature.  I am not a go-non-stop sort of person.  I am a friendly introvert, and I need more rest than some.  I need rest in Him.  I need to be still before Him.  I need to find refuge in Him, and listen to Him, and speak to Him, and hear His words.

This morning, Preston wasn’t feeling well, and so we stuck the thermometer under his arm before he left for school to read his temperature.

How are you feeling today?   If you stuck a thermometer into your heart or your spirit, what would it read today?  Would it be a bit rumpled up?

Life’s not easy, but oh, how I want to live a victorious & joyful life in Him.  Is that how you’re feeling, too?  Maybe you feel overworked, or stretched or under-appreciated.    Maybe you’re wondering what your value still is or you wish you’d be needed less.  Perhaps you just want a few moments to yourself or you’re just wishing someone would kidnap you & take you out for an evening.  Perhaps you long to feel cherished.  Maybe you need to extend grace or forgiveness or be Christ-like in your life when others aren’t reciprocating.

Listen, my spiritual temperature, and your spiritual temperature are just that.  Ours alone.  We need to be praying for, and running alongside & encouraging each other, but we cannot blame or attribute our temperatures to anyone other than ourselves.  It sounds simple, but the reality is we forget to take the time to apply it.  If you need rest, rest in Him – even if it’s 3 minutes in the bathroom.  If you need to sputter your frustrations to Him, please sputter away.  He knows anyways.  He loves you beyond comprehension, and He’s willing to grow you and I through the yucky stuff if we trust His heart.

Today, I started off the day (after being humbled by the prayer my sweet husband prayed for me), in my van (with the heat starting to blow on me) with the request that God would help me temper my actions.  I asked Him to be with me as I chose my actions, and not my reactions.  Sometimes our reactions become a habit.  I am choosing today to act graciously and kindly even when I’m not feeling it inside ‘cause He honors that, and I am trusting Him to bring my emotions alongside my actions.  I am asking Him to make my spiritual thermometer read in the “grateful and thankful and love-Him-like-crazy-that-it-spills-out-of-me” zone.

So that’s what I’m doing today as I tackle laundry, and schedules and life…praying….trusting…considering hormone replacement therapy…acting kindly and graciously even as I’m praying for strength on the inside.

I think I just might feel my temperature rising.  🙂

“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Matthew 12:34b

“I am He, I am He who will sustain you.  I have made you, and I will carry you.  I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.”  Isaiah 46:4

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you.  He will quiet you with His love.  He will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17